I don’t know how it is possible not to write about love, given its importance in our dreams, aspirations, victories and defeats. I will offer some unstructured thoughts
1. Love is not a straight line, but it is about managing the turns
2. Love starts as a fire with passion and emotions. As it burns, emotions switch to more stable sentiments. It can smoulder for a long time, and revive from the ashes.
3. Love is proportional to what each of the lovers is prepared to “share” with the others. “Sharing”, in the sense of giving, or no longer considering as own, but as a property of the couple. You don’t share = you don’t love.
4. Love cohabitates with the necessities of daily life. We all have our own twists, biases, individuality, and the more they rub with these of others, the more friction can result, potentially harmful to the unifying relationship. “smoothing” these daily interactions is critically important to the preservation of mutual respect and engagement.
Some smoothing advices:
Prioritize “intent” vs. truth or accuracy. My favorite example is a tender dialog:
a) She (tender, looking at a distant tree while in the arms of the other): “What a beautiful pine!
You (rational, observes internally that it is not a pine, but an oak. Don’t say: “It is not a pine. say “Yes, so beautiful!”
b) Dont intervene everywhere, particularly when you don’t need to. Your logic is not superior, so before intervening and “policing”, double check your authority and necessity in the matter
5. Love has several languages. It can express itself differently in different persons. For example, some use words of love. Some make presents, some need to touch the loved one, and on and on. It helps lovers that they understand these multiple channels of communication. One may feel unloved because he/she does not related to the channel used by the other. Yet, it is equally an expression of love. So, yes, learn to be multi-lingual in love.
