In Awe of Friendship

In a book, the question was asked:

“Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.”

To me, being further advanced in life, I now have the benefits of life-long friendships. It has become clear that we are best defined by our friends. I have chosen my friends as much as they have chosen me.

I have relived in my head the moments when I first encountered these friends and why it clicked! Often, it was just pure  hazard and yes, I gained some  benefit during that first encounter: laughed, learned, played, dreamed, shared the moment, trusted. That is not unusual. But what I really find magical is how gradually the friendship developed. We advanced a little bit more in the same directions (play, share, laugh, etc.) and gradually ventured into more and more common, trusted territories. It is a little bit like the first approach proves we have some receptors in common, and then, we find we have more to exchange and we keep advancing.

I will add that I almost always want to advance the friendship, push it further into more discovery, more challenges, including influencing and impacting  each other. I can safely say that Vincent is my best friend. It has not always been the case, with back and forth on closeness depending on our priorities and our availability. Patricia has always been of help in that regard even when we were no longer together for a few 30 years! It helps that we are both explorers and pushers. It is unquestionable that this friendship has enhanced me. has considerably changed my  thoughts on many subjects. That does not mean that we don’t recognize our differences. We value them because it enlarges our combined domain.

I only once terminated a friendship after 30 years, when it had become stale and in fact was contrary to my deepest inner feelings. I have recently done the same with my sister, a very difficult situation. It is just that the relationships had died. They were still active in appearance , but not in core. When the distance becomes too large, I prefer severing and preserve myself than accept false pretend. Friendship is too precious to be faked.

Cheers to friendship!
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